Death is not the end, it just may be the beginning.

I had an incredible and wonderful Grandmother. She was the very definition of a Godly and decent person. It is true when I say that I never caught her in a lie, or exaggerating the truth. She had given her life to The Lord at age 9, and remained faithful to death. She had a heart attack at age 89, and died after a short stay in the Hospital.

I was 12 years old when she passed away, and I was dealing with lots of issues in my life. I did not like my home life, or school at all. Actually the only time I was happy and felt safe was when I was with her. When she passed away I was totally devastated and gave up on everything including life. Things without her seemed too hard to deal with, and I could see no way out, or any hope for a future without her.

It was a Friday night when I decided to do something very drastic and permanent, I decided to kill myself. I was scared to die of course, and spent the evening trying to figure out the best way to do it, or rather the least painful way to do it. I decided to overdose. I also decided to do it the following night, so I could get a good nights sleep, and visit the few friends I did have the next day.

I ate my favorite food that night, took a bath, and surprisingly was at peace with everything. I went to bed that night and drifting effortlessly into sleep. What happened next was, and still is the single most Earth shattering event in my life.

I fell asleep and as happens with us all, I simply did not exist or know anything at all. The next thing that happened was that I found myself instantly awake and fully conscious, and standing in the yard, in front of my Grandmothers house. It was a beautiful, sunny summer day, and everything was exactly as it should be, except that I could remember everything. I knew I had laid down and went to sleep, and I knew I was in bed right now, but I was in total confusion, because this was not like a dream, as a matter of fact, what I was experiencing was 100% real, I couldn't find anything at all that indicated it was a dream.

I remember looking at my hands, and I could see all my pours, and hairs. I felt the wind, and the heat from the sun. I was breathing, my heart was beating, and all my internal organs were doing what they normally do, it was real. I remember getting down on my knees and looking at the grass and the bugs, every smallest detail was there. I even dug up some dirt, and found worms and all the other bugs you normally find. I even felt my stomach churning.

At that point I walked to the gate and looked up and down the street. Everything was as it should be, except I did notice that there were no people around, and that made me also notice that there were no sounds of cars or trains, and that was not right, because the railroad was very close to her house as well as a main highway, there simply should have been lots of sounds from cars at least. I also looked for any airplanes, and found not a sign of any in the sky, not even jet trails. The only sounds were that of nature and my beating heart.

I walked back to the front of my Grandmothers house and continued to listen for the sounds of people or cars or planes, or anything other than nature, and that's when I heard the door to my Grandmothers house open, and there she stood, exactly as I saw her last, smiling at me, I felt overwhelming Joy, and was frozen in place. 

In that so familiar and heavenly voice she said "Come in the house with Granny, I've missed you"

I ran onto the porch and we hugged, tears ran down my face as she said, come on inside. I Walked into her house and everything was exactly as it should be. Let me go into some detail, because I really need to drive home the fact that this did not seem real, it was real. It was in full color, sights, smells, sounds, etc. I turned on the TV and it worked like it should have, and the stations had the correct shows on the right channels and at the right Time.

The first thing I said to her after entering was, "I don't understand, you died, and I saw them bury you. Where am I?" She simply smiled at me and said "let's not talk about that now, Ok?" And I listened to her like I always did, I loved and trusted her implicedly. I remember watching TV, while she sat in her rocking chair crocheting. After a while she ask if I wanted something to eat, and I told her yes.

We went to her kitchen and I helped her fix my favorite, hot dogs. We both sat down and ate, and the experience was no different than any other time I had done that. It was all real, I even burped and apologized for doing so. I even had to use the bathroom while I was there. And I remember laying down on her couch and watching TV, and here's the bizarre part (I know, you're saying it's all been the bizarre part. Agreed.) as I lay on the couch I got tired and drifted off to sleep, and actually had a dream, and this dream was your normal standard dream world, all fuzzy, little detail, and made little sense. 

I remember waking up, and there she was, sitting in her chair chrocheting. I also remember spending a lot of time in front of the mirrors in the house. My reflection was perfectly like it should be, everything was as real as right now, well... That is of course, if now is really... real. After about 8 hours with her rough guess, She said "Well it's time for you to go back now Bobby" and I was so confused over it all, and once again ask her what was happening, and she replied "let's not talk about that now, go home, and tomorrow night we will meet here again, Ok?" And of course I said OK.

She opened the door and as I went to take the first step through the door, the instant My foot hit the porch, I woke up, sitting up in my bed, I felt wide awake, not at all like someone who had just woke from a nights sleep.

I jumped out of bed and ran down stairs, and began telling everyone I could about what had happened . Of course everyone said it was a dream, but my Wonderful Father didn't, he listend and said "the universe is a vast and mysterious thing, you could have been anywhere. As you might have guessed by now, I was so wrapped up in what happened that the thought of suicide never crossed my mind, and as I went to bed that night, I eagerly went to sleep in anticipation of seeing her again.

And it happened just like before, only this time I ran to the door and opened it, and went in, and there she was sitting in her chair. We spent what seemed like another 8 hours together, and just like before, when she said it was time for me to leave, once again I said "I don't understand, you died, and I saw them bury you. Where am I?" She simply smiled at me again, and said "let's not talk about that now, Ok?"

Just like before, she said she would meet me again tomorrow night, and when I left, as soon as my foot hit her porch, I awoke, sitting up in bed, and ran down stairs, To tell my DAD all about it, and he listend.

The third night it all happened again, only when I had to leave I ask her the same thing again like I had twice before, but this time she said something different something very profound and I beleive a bit revealing also.

She said...

"I refused to pass on, until I knew you were going to be OK. They allowed me these three nights with you, and now I know you are not going to kill yourself, you are going to grow old, get married have kids, and accomplish great things, your life will be very special, very rewarding, and very hard as well. "I love you" you will not see my again like this, not in this life, but you will, see me in the next one.

We hugged and I kissed her on the cheek, and as I stepped through the doorway, the rest of my life has been exactly as she said it would be. I am overwhelmed with great Joy as I write this, tears are streaming down my face..... The universe knows you, and I, we are not alone and never can be. We just can't see very well in this temporary form....

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